Thoughts

[essay] we are all on time.

Clock by Erik Gunnar Asplund in Göteborgs Rådhuset. Picture and editing by Titis Rum Kuntari

26 years ago I was born quicker than my parents had expected. 13 years ago I met my puppy love. 9 years ago I was hurt and broken-hearted. 8 years ago I started college. 3 years ago I learned about being strong and kind. 1 year ago I learned how to love and be patient. Today I learn about gratitude.

If you were born in the 90s, we are probably at the same age and crisis. Yeah, you know it. Quarter-life crisis is a thang – they say. Scrolling through my social media timeline, it’s either friend getting married, having a kid, going on a honeymoon, getting engaged, etc etc. At the beginning of 2016, only one or two of my college friends posted fancy pre-wedding pictures. Then it grows. A lot more. I am genuinely happy for them, of course. Although I sadly had to skip lots of my friends’ important days as I am 11.000 km away from them, from home.

Meanwhile, here I am. I just finished my master’s, haven’t gotten a proper job, and not knowing where to go in life. It is quite typical that one could think if they were doing something wrong if they were in the same situation as where I am. Or simply – if they were thinking that they were late. One could blame time, one could blame their spiritual guide, one could blame the universe.

I am quite lucky to be in an environment where the pressure is lower than where I was before. Although, sometimes times are hard when friends back home started to ask one of those rude questions. One that I hate the most is: “When are you going to come back and get married?”.

To me, I am on time. We all are.  It is hard for me to elaborate everything in detail, although I would love to. But one thing I know for sure. If I were to be born even faster 26 years ago, I wouldn’t have made it. If later, I would not know what will happen to me, maybe I would have survived, or not. The universe works in a strange way, and quite often I laugh about how it revolves around my life. Somehow I know, if something is not happening yet, there is something that the universe wants me to learn about.

Don’t panic, you are on time.

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